Wine Mom · Heavyweight Hoodie
RUNNING ON WINE & WISHES
Cardio-adjacent.
★★★★★4.7 · 167 verified reviews
$69.99$139.99You save $70.00 (math by Dwayne)
For moms whose marathon is a Target run with a cart that pulls slightly left. Cozy enough for the carpool line, honest enough for brunch.
Only 3 left in stock — 11 people are staring at this right now. One of them is your nemesis.
Free shipping over $75. Layaway available at checkout. Dwayne personally supervises.
The Fabric+
A cotton-poly blend so premium it has a credit score. Pre-shrunk against moisture and doubt. The ink is set with heat, pressure, and eye contact. Wash cold. Hang dry. Never fold your dreams.
Shipping & Handling+
Ships in 3–5 business days, or whenever Linda (the compressor) is emotionally available. Every order is hand-folded by Dwayne and nodded at once. Tracking provided; the nod is not trackable.
Returns & Exchanges+
This is art. You don't return art. You may exchange for store credit if the garment arrives with a manufacturing defect, which has never happened, because Dwayne does not make mistakes — he makes variations.
167 Reviews, Zero Regrets
What The People Say
BookClubBarb✓ Verified Kiosk 4 Buyer
★★★★★
Book club approved
We haven't read a book since 2019 but we HAVE read this shirt out loud at every meeting. It's our mascot now. Linda got jealous and bought two.
MerlotMarge✓ Verified Kiosk 4 Buyer
★★★★★
Pairs with everything
Pairs with red. Pairs with white. Pairs with sitting in the car for 20 extra minutes in the driveway. Versatile.
CarpoolQueen✓ Verified Kiosk 4 Buyer
★★★★☆
Accurate
Wore it to parent-teacher conferences. The teacher nodded slowly, like she understood. She understood.
The Algorithm (Dwayne) Suggests