Silicon Valley has Sand Hill Road. Suburbia has Debra's living room, where once a month eight women gather to 'discuss the book' — a ritual that has not involved an actual book since 2019 but HAS produced three small businesses, two custody reversals, and a neighborhood-wide sourdough cartel.
We sent a correspondent to observe (he was asked to leave at 9 PM, which sources describe as 'early'). What follows is our findings.
The Portfolio
A traditional VC diversifies across sectors. A wine mom diversifies across varietals: a bold cabernet for school-board drama, a buttery chardonnay for MLS listings, a boxed rosé for 'research.' Each bottle is a position. Each glass is a quarterly review.
The Term Sheet
When Linda says 'we should totally do that,' a binding agreement has been executed. Lawyers call it unenforceable. Linda calls it 'Tuesday.' Within a week there will be a group chat, a logo (made in an app, at midnight, free tier), and a Shopify store with one product and nine colorways.
I don't need a business plan. I have a pitcher of sangria and a vision. — Linda, Managing Partner, Debra's Living Room Capital
The Returns
Are the ventures profitable? Define profitable. The candle company grossed $412 and generated one (1) legendary falling-out, which in living-room-capital terms is a liquidity event. The emotional ROI is, and we cannot stress this enough, off the charts.
What Wall Street Gets Wrong
Wall Street thinks conviction comes from data. Wrong. Conviction comes from the third glass, when someone says 'no but actually' and the room goes quiet and a freight brokerage is born. Dwayne witnessed this once at Kiosk 4 and describes it as 'the most powerful thing I've ever seen, and I airbrushed a wolf onto a limo window.'
The Takeaway
Somewhere tonight, a book club is meeting. No books will be opened. No minutes will be kept. And yet by 10:45 PM, someone will own a spa. This is the economy now. Invest accordingly — or better yet, invest in the official uniform of the movement, available at Kiosk 4, next to the pretzel place.
The Tasteless Times reminds you to drink responsibly and invest irresponsibly, in that order.